building NDIDI: 7 years later
a moment of reflection and celebration
On the 22nd of February, 2024, I marked 7 years of practising as a psychotherapist in Lagos and building NDIDI. I had planned to do something elaborate but I got caught up with work that I forgot so this letter to you is one of my ways of celebrating myself and NDIDI and sharing some of the lessons I have learnt.
I remember when I started in 2017 and how I used to daydream about what this moment might be like and what I wanted for myself and the business. Some of these wants were fueled by some events that I had experienced. They were:
not being able to find a mental health practice that was beautiful, empathetic, considerate and kind when I needed it,
living in a country where access to good healthcare experience felt like a luxury,
and working in Lagos and seeing how unhealthy some workplaces and leaders can be.
I have accomplished some goals that came out of the desire to solve those problems and I can say, for sure, that working at NDIDI is great, and our clients’ experiences have been positive. I believe I made that 2017 version of me proud. It has been a marvel to see myself move something from an idea to an actual entity that has the power to sustain me and help people beyond me.
Well done to me! 👏🏽👏🏽
Going through this journey of growing NDIDI has deepened my admiration for people in administrative, strategic and leadership positions, especially women in Nigeria. I am more gracious and forgiving of service providers and businesses and admire people starting new businesses in Nigeria today. It is a sign of hope. It takes hard work, a good network and a bit of madness to run a business in Lagos, and the degree to which you will experience the stress varies across industries, clientele and locations.
Nonetheless, I will share useful lessons I have learned that you can use as long as you are in business. Some things are for you if you are starting a new business, and others are if you have been here for some time.
Develop a firm conviction that you can fulfil your dream. Believe in it like you can already see it before you get there. No one else around might see it the way you do. It is not your job to convince them - except they are giving you money. Your job is to do the work and make that dream come true on whatever scale or form. Believe in your ability to stick with it, to learn on the job, to try new things; to develop the skills needed to succeed, to discipline yourself, and to do a good enough job. Believe it then do it.
Jack Salter: You can’t be afraid in the car!
Jann Mardenborough: I wasn’t afraid. I braked. I don’t know what happened.
Jack Salter: Got to commit!
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Jack Salter: If you're not going to commit- if you're not going to have conviction on that track, next time we may not be so lucky.
Gran Tourismo (2023)
Discipline and commitment are powerful forces. You can create marvellous things if you stick to it. Showing up and asking better of yourself as a business owner and person can become a high that keeps you going. Like when you lift 20kg at the gym and push further until you find your body and self-image’s sweet spot. Commitment is not about never failing or falling off track, it is about recovery time and strategy. There were times when my recovery time and strategy were to cry, nap for an hour or three, and then get back to work. You can break down but come back and get on with the show. That’s part of commitment. Discipline is showing up whether it is after a slight delay or a long break.
Learn to love administrative work or find someone who can do it better than you and develop some work ethic. Administrative responsibilities are a major part of the engine of your business. You can be one polite and timely email response away from the referral, sale or conversation that brings you success. Set a standard of expectation for your clients.
Be conscious of when to begin separating yourself from the business. When you start something, it can feel like your baby and a part of you. Learn and adapt to the idea that if you want to grow, the business cannot continue being your identity. Create a structure that allows the business to gradually learn to exist outside of you so you can be something else. It does not always mean leaving the company, it may mean taking up a new role within the same business and letting someone else take the lead.
Write those purpose, mission, values and vision statements with intention and make an effort to commit to them because when you are caught at a crossroads or have decision paralysis, they will be your guiding light and filter. They will help during moments when recentering yourself is needed. Those moments when you feel lost, confused, and unsure about what you are doing and why you are doing it, you will need those words so write them from your soul.
Build the courage to fail because you will fail. Practice being less afraid of failure so you can change and take risks. You will be stuck if the fear of failure paralyses you. Fail and learn how to fail better which comes down to better decision-making, conversations with your advisory network and a few doses of an irrational belief in your vision.
Change. The sign that it is time for a change comes in many forms - boredom, tiredness, fear, feeling stuck, anger, sadness, misery etc. When something has to change within you as a leader and within the business, spend time sitting with that feeling to understand what needs to change. You may need to do more, do less, take 5 steps back or 10 steps forward; change strategy or close up shop altogether. Sometimes, you need to hand over, elevate someone, or delegate. Change.
Whether your business lasts for 2 or 15 years or you are still in it, how you run it is what matters. Is it with integrity, honesty, accountability and diligence? Do your employees grow and enjoy their time there? What kind of experience are your clients having?
I applaud long-term entrepreneurs and those about to start their entrepreneurial journey. I have drawn strength from old-timers and gained renewed hope from first-timers. It is not an easy journey we have chosen to embark upon but it promises to be exciting and transformative.
For me, my hard work has paid off because I can step away from practising psychotherapy for three months without fear that the practice will fall apart. (Shout out to my team!) What is the goal of working hard in a capitalist economy if not to buy oneself time for rest and leisure? To ensure that I take a break during my leave, I have signed up for an accountability session program with soft.spaces and my goal is to rest. I know how to work but do not know how to rest and relax, and I need restoration and relaxation.
Cheers to more years and more work! 🥂🥂🍻
With love, gratitude and fulfilment,
A.
Congratulations on 7 years! As a new business owner, I can relate to all you’ve said here - all of it. Thank you for sharing, it’s inspirational to see people like you build things, create patterns that work and are holistically designed. It’s a good reminder for me - cheers to more years <3.