slow living in Lagos
Lagos is crazy, you don't have to be
When I was 24 years old, I wanted to change the world. Impact was measured by quantity more than quality so my ambition was big, and I was stuck on it. However, during those moments where I found myself fantasizing about what my high-powered She-EO business and personal lifestyle would look like, I would find that when I was done placing a significant amount of bricks into my imaginary castle, the result of my personal life was a slow and quiet life. Not a busy one with flights here and there, meetings up and down, and a strict regimen to ensure optimum productivity; it was one where I could wake up with the sun, have time to do nothing, exist with calmness in my spirit and experience an hour as an hour and not 20 minutes.
If the end goal was a slow life, why not begin to practice it now? Living slowly means living life calmly, and intentionally with a focus on quality rather than quantity.
So, in the spirit of not postponing joy, I have spent time from 2022 to date learning what it means to live a slow, calm life in the chaotic city of Lagos. It is possible but be wise to not compare it to a different environment where access to a peaceful space is readily available. Lagos is Lagos.
Living a slow and calm life in Lagos requires:
A re-evaluation and change in your relationship with time.
I'm certain you can relate to the feeling that time is moving faster. Was it not about a week ago that we were all celebrating International Women’s Day, now we are already at the end of March. Where did all that time go? I can tell you that time is not moving faster, rather, we are doing more things that take away our opportunity to have a conscious relationship with time. We rush through time and calculate our days based on what we accomplished or should accomplish. When we are not distracted by work or gadgets, we are in our heads waltzing with our fears and dreads. We have an inaccurate approximation of how long it takes to go through experiences or complete tasks. Working on that Excel Sheet will not take you 30 minutes, my dear. It will take you 2 hours. We relate with time as what we expect it to be and not what it is.
An hour is still an hour. Time isn’t flying, you are.
Living slowly means having a more conscious relationship with time, not rushing through it and practising habits that foster such a relationship.
Be early to things. When you are early, you don’t rush to get there and you don't rush to find your place.
Be honest with yourself and others about time. How long it will take, and how much time do you need? Communicate a reasonable and honest approximation of time.
Start on time. Procrastination is easy. Don’t just know about it, work on it. Understand how you process things and how you work so you can use your time efficiently. When you start on time, you give yourself room to make errors and correct them. Not at the last minute.
Buy a clock and a wristwatch so you are aware of what the time is. Your phone alone is not good enough.
Respect the time allocated for certain tasks and intentionally allocate time for rest.
There is no such thing as a needless stop, Herbie.
Time is the ultimate luxury. A thing to be savoured, not hoarded nor compressed nor controlled.
As if any of that could control time anyway - Raymond Reddington, The Blacklist.
Take deep breaths often during the day. Breathe and relax your shoulders. Lagos is a city brimming with unhealthy amounts of anxiety. It is quick and easy to take it on. People are in a hurry and they drive crazy. We are exposed to a high-stress environment regularly and that can put your body and mind on edge so make it a habit to take deep breaths.
Practice walking slowly. I am stressed when I walk with some people because when you are meant to stroll, they are sprinting. Do you know what is interesting? When they slow down, you can see how anxious and uncomfortable they are. If you are like that, the anxiety you feel when you walk slowly is what you need to practice relaxing because it is the extra weight you are carrying around that you don’t need. It is like the extra froth at the top of a foamy drink, you don’t need it. Walk slowly.
Be intentional about visiting calm places surrounded by nature. Lagos doesn’t have accessible public spaces that encourage silence and solitude, and you don’t always want to be in your house. It gets boring. Being in nature is soothing - watching the waves ebb and flow, the leaves dancing the wind and insects going about their day puts you in sync with the real speed of time.
You have to intentionally find and plan to go to spaces that have these experiences. Here are a few of mine:
The playground at Eko Hotel and Suites
The garden area at the Federal Palace Hotel
Jaekel House, Railway Compound
UNILAG’s Architecture department, Lagoon Front and the MADHOUSE
One of the major reasons why living slowly in Lagos can be difficult for most is because of working hours and traffic - Waking up early, travelling long distances, and navigating the morning and evening rush hour. However, recognising that slow living is internal work and not external can help with how you respond to these stressful experiences.
Take a deep breath before you jump out of bed, listening to calm and slow music as you prepare for the day. After every hustle with Danfo, Keke and taxi drivers, take a deep breath to help restore your body to a state of serenity. Take breaks to breathe and check in with yourself at work, after stressful meetings or interactions.
Going to work does not put your personal life on hold. Once you return home, before you step into another world, take a deep breath and check in with yourself. Resolve with yourself to respond calmly yet firmly to what needs your attention or affection.
For freelancers, create a structure for your working hours. You can be as flexible as needed but have non-negotiables around the rest. Be as diligent as you can with the tasks you set out to achieve so that clock-out time can be clock-out time. If you have a team, delegate responsibilities to them.
Be intentional about where you go and who you spend your time with. In Lagos, there is always something to do and somewhere to go. As I write this letter to you, yesterday was Femme Fest and Homecoming. Today is Alte Culture Fest and there is a party for artists at Ecobank. There is always something to do. You don't have to be everywhere. Sit with all the invitations you have been offered or presented with and ask yourself if you want to go out or stay home to watch YouTube. If you are going to spend time with anyone, take time to ask yourself about how that person makes you feel and if it matches the energy you want in your space. Time is the greatest gift. We make money to buy ourselves more time so when you have time, an hour or a second, be clear on who or what you do with that time.
Listen to relaxing music as you go about your day. My newest obsession is this playlist and this one too.
Slow living comes from within. As much as social media portrays it as a factor of our external environment that requires a house in the village in Enugu up on the hills with a cat, three dogs and a farm, it is more about creating serenity within that flows into your external environment. A peaceful person can create a peaceful environment. This is not to say that a peaceful environment does not matter but you are the most important factor. To create peace within, here are some virtues that need to be a part of your daily living:
Patience
Grace
Compassion
Kindness
Forgiveness
I could write more about slow living, my dear companion but I believe that these words are good enough to get you started on your path to living a slow and intentional life in the city of excellence and my home, Lagos.
With love and hope,
A.
Hi Amanda. I really enjoyed reading this. I am such a big fan of slow living and in a place like Lagos, living slowly can feel like a protest against everything the city stands for. Thanks for this guide.