when you wander far from your truth, gently return to yourself
courage and self-forgiveness are healing balms
There are many times during the day when we go against the values we believe in and behave in ways contrary to those that we celebrate and attribute to our personality. Like when we betray the trust of a loved one, act disrespectfully towards others or go back to places or people that hurt us.
After such behaviours, for those of us with existing and functioning hearts and consciences, we might find ourselves at 2 am wondering if we are terrible people who deserve the worst and are incapable of receiving forgiveness or love. We are filled with shame from head to toe as we see this singular or, in some cases, multiple incidents as a definition of who we are.
The thing to do once we realise that we have strayed far from who we have told ourselves that we are or want to be, far from the values we have set is to return to alignment with ourselves.
Return to yourself through a quiet, honest, courageous, humble and graceful moment of self-reflection. It can be hard to come back when you judge yourself rather harshly. It will not help.
In the words of Noah Cyrus “…a mistake is just a state of my identity”. It is not your entire identity. It can be difficult to see and accept this from your internal wisdom and others if you do not take time to sit with yourself and the deeds and thoughts that cause you to feel deep shame and regret. Shame and regret can form a hole so deep that many of us stay trapped for years and decades leading us to near or completely irreversible self-sabotage. Make a resolve to begin to let them go.
Be honest with yourself. Be true and be bold enough to confront your poor decisions. There is a time to criticise the behaviour and the behaviour alone, and there is time to criticise the self and the behaviour because the behaviour has become you.
Take a deep breath, acknowledge your faults and the fact that you have caused someone or people pain, and that you are not as perfect as you may have thought you were. Knock yourself off the pedestal of self-righteousness and accept the fact that you can be just as bad as the next person or those whom you condemn so viciously. Do so and extend grace to all and yourself. It is part of being human.
Thankfully, on this plane, we have many opportunities to start over. As the sun rises and sets, so do we have grace and mercy freely offered to us. Forgive yourself. Even if others will or will not forgive you, you must work towards forgiving yourself. Do so with the desire to receive forgiveness, to change, to be better and to live authentically
Now that you know and have seen your weakness, up your defences against your capacity to self-sabotage. Do not overestimate your ability to resist temptation or to do the right thing. You are not always that strong, especially in the areas where you have messed up before and when you are struggling emotionally and mentally.
When you wander far from your truth or self, gently return to yourself.
With love,
A.
Every word spoke to me. Thank you so much for sharing.