Nice episode. For me, I actually do like to think. Though when i do that, I try to make sure I am being being bruttaly honest with myself, asking the right difficult questions. Thinking gives me clarity, I am able to clearly figure out where my problems stem from and effective ways to solve them. Though there are times where I have spent time loathing and having unhealthy thoughts, I try to snap out of it as quickly as I can because these thoughts do not serve me rather it keeps me stuck in that position.
From what I read here, you have developed a healthy way of thinking. Yes, the unhealthy thoughts will come. It is the human curse to dance in the ballroom of crazy sometimes but to know when to stop and call ourself to order. Well done!
Interestingly, one thing I learned about overthinking is that we approach most traumatic events looking to assign blame, instead of acknowledging that an action or circumstance hurt us.
With blame comes motive, and once you have cast the person whose actions hurt you as an antagonist, you make it more difficult to confront them because you are focused on discovering their motives rather than reasserting your own boundaries.
Learning to express that a situation is hurtful to me without assigning blame has allowed me reach a resolution faster and salvage relationships and significantly reduce over thinking.
Yes, I quite agree. It is like a self-fulfilling prophesy. If trauma teaches you that people will abandon you, you unconsciously seek confirmation of that belief and a subject to blame.
What I have learnt to help myself catch those moments has been to remind myself that I am not in the same place any more. 'I am safe and in control now'.
"Learning to express that a situation is hurtful to me without assigning blame has allowed me reach a resolution faster and salvage relationships and significantly reduce over thinking." - I loved this line! Expression is healing. Simply saying this made me feel *insert emotion here*
I also make an effort to accurately name the emotion I feel rather than the blanket statement of "weird" or "some type of way"
Nice episode. For me, I actually do like to think. Though when i do that, I try to make sure I am being being bruttaly honest with myself, asking the right difficult questions. Thinking gives me clarity, I am able to clearly figure out where my problems stem from and effective ways to solve them. Though there are times where I have spent time loathing and having unhealthy thoughts, I try to snap out of it as quickly as I can because these thoughts do not serve me rather it keeps me stuck in that position.
From what I read here, you have developed a healthy way of thinking. Yes, the unhealthy thoughts will come. It is the human curse to dance in the ballroom of crazy sometimes but to know when to stop and call ourself to order. Well done!
This episode is so good. Came at the right time for me. Thank you :)
You are most welcome! i am glad it was timely and helpful
thank you for this
You’re very welcome, Abdul ☺️☺️
Interestingly, one thing I learned about overthinking is that we approach most traumatic events looking to assign blame, instead of acknowledging that an action or circumstance hurt us.
With blame comes motive, and once you have cast the person whose actions hurt you as an antagonist, you make it more difficult to confront them because you are focused on discovering their motives rather than reasserting your own boundaries.
Learning to express that a situation is hurtful to me without assigning blame has allowed me reach a resolution faster and salvage relationships and significantly reduce over thinking.
Yes, I quite agree. It is like a self-fulfilling prophesy. If trauma teaches you that people will abandon you, you unconsciously seek confirmation of that belief and a subject to blame.
What I have learnt to help myself catch those moments has been to remind myself that I am not in the same place any more. 'I am safe and in control now'.
"Learning to express that a situation is hurtful to me without assigning blame has allowed me reach a resolution faster and salvage relationships and significantly reduce over thinking." - I loved this line! Expression is healing. Simply saying this made me feel *insert emotion here*
I also make an effort to accurately name the emotion I feel rather than the blanket statement of "weird" or "some type of way"
Thank you for sharing!