there were outings, yes. There were free times here and there, ‘free time’ being time outside tasks allocated by parents. But there were pressures that just meant I hardly remember resting as a child. there was always school homework to do, and I found it very difficult to not be ‘a good girl’ so I was always doing something and berating myself for not doing enough lol. There was hanging out with friends (to do homework together sha 😂) and there was alone time too here and there which I remember fondly. But all in all, just a lot of pressure (internal & external) and lack of peace.
Certainly I entered adulthood with this wiring. And before long, I started breaking down so things had to change. These days I value and prioritise rest in all its forms, sleep o, alone time o, playing, etc. or even just shifting rooms in my head. I remember living in proximity with a friend who took weekends off completely and seeing that it didn’t take away from his productivity and wellbeing but rather supported the quality of his life. Seeing him as an example helped me so much. And before long, I made the commitment to myself to keep my weekends work-free.
While prioritising rest has gotten easier, sure there are still sometimes work seeps in and I get very ferocious about it 😂. Like if it is me making myself work in the weekend, I must compensate by treating myself or nobody is getting sleep in the house (of my head). It’s a choice I have to make everyday to make out time for rest, and to include rest/faffing around/recovery time when planning my schedule.
Reading about your childhood sounds like that of many young Nigerians I have spoken with. There was pressure to excel and succeed. We constantly had to be doing something. It did not matter if it was productive as long as you were busy. I am thankful on your behalf for your friend who showed you that rest and productivity can exist side by side.
Also, I couldn’t help myself. For anyone reading this, shameless plug: I run a magazine of reflections on how we grapple with everyday stress in our lives.
Thank you for this post, Amanda. I just interrogated what rest meant at different points and I realised that as a kid, rest just meant sleep. At most, it was occupying the hours you weren’t being sent on errands carving out adventures for myself.
There was also the occasional movie time when all the chores were done but before you quite settled into that, you were sent to bed.
As an adult, I find that I struggle with the concept of rest. I find that I’m constantly looking for fillers because productivity is the essence of a thriving life, no? But on Tuesday last week, my body said “You’re going to slow down and do nothing.”
Was there guilt? Loads! Yet, I spent most of that time telling myself that it’s ok to take time to show up for yourself too.
This is a rather long-winded response but yeah, thank you for the chance to actually ponder this. 💛
You are most welcome, Iwuese. I am glad that you took out the time to reflect on what rest was for you in your childhood. My hope is that you understand that while productivity is a part of a thriving life, so is rest. We work hard for more leisurely days so when you have time to rest, please, rest. You have earned it!
I really relate to this. For the longest time, I pushed myself non-stop, ignoring my body until it finally gave out on me, more than once.
My mom was always telling me to take breaks and rest, but I just didn’t listen. It wasn’t until I hit burnout that I realised how important it is to rest—not just sleep but really recharge.
Learning to slow down has been tough, but so necessary. Thanks for sharing this—it’s such an important conversation to have!
You are most welcome, Coco! I am glad that this piece resonated with you. Your mom was right about the breaks and rest. I look forward to the day when we all accept that productivity involves rest. When you think about it, the goal of making money is to live a life of leisure. Sadly, even when we earn it, we do not recognise it or even enjoy the time created from. our hard work.
there were outings, yes. There were free times here and there, ‘free time’ being time outside tasks allocated by parents. But there were pressures that just meant I hardly remember resting as a child. there was always school homework to do, and I found it very difficult to not be ‘a good girl’ so I was always doing something and berating myself for not doing enough lol. There was hanging out with friends (to do homework together sha 😂) and there was alone time too here and there which I remember fondly. But all in all, just a lot of pressure (internal & external) and lack of peace.
Certainly I entered adulthood with this wiring. And before long, I started breaking down so things had to change. These days I value and prioritise rest in all its forms, sleep o, alone time o, playing, etc. or even just shifting rooms in my head. I remember living in proximity with a friend who took weekends off completely and seeing that it didn’t take away from his productivity and wellbeing but rather supported the quality of his life. Seeing him as an example helped me so much. And before long, I made the commitment to myself to keep my weekends work-free.
While prioritising rest has gotten easier, sure there are still sometimes work seeps in and I get very ferocious about it 😂. Like if it is me making myself work in the weekend, I must compensate by treating myself or nobody is getting sleep in the house (of my head). It’s a choice I have to make everyday to make out time for rest, and to include rest/faffing around/recovery time when planning my schedule.
Reading about your childhood sounds like that of many young Nigerians I have spoken with. There was pressure to excel and succeed. We constantly had to be doing something. It did not matter if it was productive as long as you were busy. I am thankful on your behalf for your friend who showed you that rest and productivity can exist side by side.
Also, I couldn’t help myself. For anyone reading this, shameless plug: I run a magazine of reflections on how we grapple with everyday stress in our lives.
restful.substack.com
🫧
I love it! I recommend your page so I do hope that you get more and more followers and readers. I am a fan!
Thank you for this post, Amanda. I just interrogated what rest meant at different points and I realised that as a kid, rest just meant sleep. At most, it was occupying the hours you weren’t being sent on errands carving out adventures for myself.
There was also the occasional movie time when all the chores were done but before you quite settled into that, you were sent to bed.
As an adult, I find that I struggle with the concept of rest. I find that I’m constantly looking for fillers because productivity is the essence of a thriving life, no? But on Tuesday last week, my body said “You’re going to slow down and do nothing.”
Was there guilt? Loads! Yet, I spent most of that time telling myself that it’s ok to take time to show up for yourself too.
This is a rather long-winded response but yeah, thank you for the chance to actually ponder this. 💛
You are most welcome, Iwuese. I am glad that you took out the time to reflect on what rest was for you in your childhood. My hope is that you understand that while productivity is a part of a thriving life, so is rest. We work hard for more leisurely days so when you have time to rest, please, rest. You have earned it!
I really relate to this. For the longest time, I pushed myself non-stop, ignoring my body until it finally gave out on me, more than once.
My mom was always telling me to take breaks and rest, but I just didn’t listen. It wasn’t until I hit burnout that I realised how important it is to rest—not just sleep but really recharge.
Learning to slow down has been tough, but so necessary. Thanks for sharing this—it’s such an important conversation to have!
You are most welcome, Coco! I am glad that this piece resonated with you. Your mom was right about the breaks and rest. I look forward to the day when we all accept that productivity involves rest. When you think about it, the goal of making money is to live a life of leisure. Sadly, even when we earn it, we do not recognise it or even enjoy the time created from. our hard work.
Please rest and rest some more.